Thursday, November 20, 2008


(From Glamour magazine)

1.) Slow down in bed.

2.) Speed up on the toilet.

3.) Buy tampons for her without feeling emasculated.

4.) Log her size into your memory, because what's more depressing than trying on a wrong-size gift?

5.) Get over any jealousy of any "alone time" for her that doesn't require your participation.

6.) Before you leave on a trip, give her a sappy card that says how much you'll miss her. (Extra credit: make it yourself.)

7.) Send a massive bouquet of flowers to work (ideally on a Monday, so she can flaunt it all week).

8.) Cook a meal that involves more ingredients than pasta and pasta sauce.

9.) Afterwards, clean the dishes

10.) Ask as many questions as you answer.

11.) Look her directly in the eye during all greetings, requests, declarations of love and sex.

12.) Toss out the blue-and-red tartan flannel bedding you got in college and replace it with something else (i.e., thread count over 200, no poly blends).

13.) Stand outside in the rain with a radio or do whatever it takes to make up after you've been a jerk.

14.) Stop harping about threesomes and be happy with the sweet deal you already have.

15.) Memorize this Mantra: If I'm going to be late, call! If I'm going to be late, call!
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