Tuesday, January 27, 2009


In a recent poll, 83 percent of the people think that cross-gender friendships can and do exist.
A study found that they often start early, with 65 percent of boys and 60 percent of girls saying they have three or more close opposite-sex friends by 10th grade.

So what happens when you get married and you keep those friends? Jealousy can and almost always will come up. Here are some things to think about when balancing friends and lovers:

1. Don't make ultimatums. Trying to control another person's behavior never works. Try to understand the friendship, and what it's all about."

2. Be honest. Never lie about the time you spend with your friend. If you don't feel comfortable telling your spouse you're going to hang out, then maybe they have a reason to worry.

3. Socialize as a group. Spend time with both your significant other and your friend. And acknowledge your love for your spouse in front of your friend.

4. Set boundaries. If you feel the friend is crossing a line, say something. Open communication with your significant other is crucial.

5. If you feel threatened, be honest about it. Talk to both your significant other and their friend face-to-face. Tell them you feel left out. Don't be accusatory or yell, just be open and honest.

6. Think positive. As long as everybody's on the same page, opposite-sex friends can be fantastic for a couple. If you make your relationship too exclusive, it can become claustrophobic. Plenty of husbands would love another man to take his wife shopping or to the movies. It's less pressure on him!